Friday, April 15, 2016


Who is trying to take down the internet?  From the above link:
Over the past year or two, someone has been probing the defenses of the companies that 
run critical pieces of the Internet. These probes take the form of precisely calibrated attacks 
designed to determine exactly how well these companies can defend themselves, and what 
would be required to take them down. We don't know who is doing this...China and Russia would be my first guesses...Bruce Schneier, security technologist, author, Schneier On Security blogger anticipating Oct. 24th 2016 DDoS attacks that disrupted the East coast internet. 

The Paranoid Style As Weaponized Disinformation:
"In fact, the idea of the paranoid style as a force in politics would have little 
contemporary relevance or historical value if it were applied only to men with 
profoundly disturbed minds.  It is the use of paranoid modes of expression by more 
or less normal people that makes the phenomenon significant."...The Paranoid Style in American Politics”, historian Richard Hofstadter, 1964

NY Times, 9/7/16 - OXFORD, England — Defense Secretary Ashton B. Carter lashed 
out at Russia on Wednesday, accusing the government of President Vladimir V. Putin of demonstrating a “clear ambition to erode” international order and warning Russia to stay 
out of the American elections.

Paranoid Style On Steroids: 
"The documents were posted online by a group called the Anonymous International, the source for an earlier leak BuzzFeed wrote about Monday."
"In a report dated May 21, Internet Research Agency commercial director Svetlana
Boiko discussed the progress of the trolling project’s $75,000 trial period, which
began April 10. The report says that during that period, the trolls left more than
2,500 comments on 30 different news websites, tweeted 1,220 times from 12 accounts, wrote 85 Facebook posts, posted 175 times in an unspecified number of forums, and made five bizarre YouTube videos attacking the U.S. government."

(IMO, this has been happening long before You Tube first went online in 2005) 

Bizarre YT videos attacking U.S.?  IOW, deliberately made to be seen as such. 
Deliberately using "bizarre" "paranoid modes of expression" as a means of spreading not misinformation but disinformation by people who are Psy-Ops disinformation pros.  
Making up for deliberately demented content presented by play actor English language narrators with shear numbers of videos.  Thousands of paranoid YT channels 
with many more fake supporting comments made to be as repulsive, as delusional and as 
whacked out a possible.  Thousands of blogs, fake news, fake forums and websites 
jamming up the thing that challenges Putin's state sponsored RT news and local control, 
the internet.
"Russia’s campaign to shape international opinion around its invasion of
Ukraine has extended to recruiting and training a new cadre of online
trolls that have been deployed to spread the Kremlin’s message on the
comments section of top American websites."  (Not to mention YT videos
and comments, not to mention that it's been going on, IMO, for decades)

"Plans attached to emails leaked by a mysterious Russian hacker collective 
show IT managers reporting on a new ideological front against the West in the comments sections of Fox News, Huffington Post, The Blaze, Politico, and WorldNetDaily."  (In newsspeak, *shocking, appalling and cause for concern*) 

"The bizarre hive of social media activity appears to be part of a 
two-pronged Kremlin campaign to claim control over the internet, launching a million-dollar army of trolls to mold American public opinion as it cracks down on internet freedom at home."
Not to mention influencing the 2016 elections with or without help from the
RNC, Wikileaks, and Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump.  The
loyal "patriot" who led the birther movement for 5 years trying to humiliate his own President while admiring and praising Vladimir Putin.  None dare call it
treason especially when name Republicans Giuliani, Ralph Peters and Pat Buchanan have done the same.  Nor is it a case of a few Republican outliers.

Explaining evangelical support for Trump via Jeet Heer of The New Republic:

"More recently, a virtual Vladimir Putin cult has arisen among religious conservatives longing for a return to cultural purity."
Putin’s macho bearing, his hostility to LGBT rights, and his fusion of nationalism with support for the Russian Orthodoxy all make him an attractive figure to right-wing Christians disenchanted with Obama’s socially liberal America. 
Franklin Graham, heir to the most influential American evangelist, says Putin should be celebrated for taking “a stand to protect his nation’s children from the damaging effects of
any gay and lesbian agenda,” even as “America’s own morality has fallen so far on this issue.” Rush Limbaugh cheers Putin for opposing “a full-frontal assault on what has always been considered normalcy.” Religious Right stalward Bryan Fischer, host of the radio program Focal Point, has hailed Putin as a “lion of Christianity.” Sam Rohrer, president of the America Pastors Network, calls the Russian president “the moral leader of the world.”.....Jeet Heer Oct 24, 2016
Disinformation soft news and comments on YT videos and on HuffPo
comment sections are the least of new Cold War blizzard of lies tactics.
They are way down in terms of importance.  Sowing fear by increments:
hacking the internet, large corporations, banks, candidate emails,
voting machines, power grids in addition to dirty bombs are the
immediate real threat either by nation states, terrorists or criminal
hacker groups.

The NYC explosions on 23rd Street three blocks from where I live
where no one was killed and all injured were released from the hospital
the next morning might be a prelude to something worse as the Nov. 8th,
2016 election approaches...or not.  Donald Trump and parts of his
Republican base are watching and hoping with clenched teeth in
anticipation of something horrendous to save him and by proxy them
from defeat by a woman.  Even as the WSJ suggests that if elected Trump
would resign whether on his own or by the RNC with Pense then taking
the oath and Chief Justice Roberts having to get it right a second time.
Again.  Like he did in 2009.

Nightmare before Christmas cancelled by the election of Hillary Clinton

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

BLIZZARD OF LIES (Gopnik Not Safire)

"The three-part process by which the gross becomes taken for granted has been on matchlessly grim view this past week in the ascent of Donald Trump."

"If Trump came to power, there is a decent chance that the American experiment would be over. This is not a hyperbolic prediction; it is not a hysterical prediction; it is simply a candid reading of what history tells us happens in countries with leaders like Trump. Countries don’t really recover from being taken over by unstable authoritarian nationalists of any political bent, left or right—not by Peróns or Castros or Putins or Francos or Lenins or fill in the blanks. The nation may survive, but the wound to hope and order will never fully heal. Ask Argentinians or Chileans or Venezuelans or Russians or Italians—or Germans. The national psyche never gets over learning that its institutions are that fragile and their ability to resist a dictator that weak. If he can rout the Republican Party in a week by having effectively secured the nomination, ask yourself what Trump could do with the American government if he had a mandate." ...Adam Gopnik 

Endure, pity, embrace.  By which the gross becomes supported by the
ultra orthodox Republican Party. 

The most important question regarding the claims in my initial post is why?
Simply to manufacture doubt and distrust in facts, logic, nuance, governments, reality
itself and to make sure erosion seeps into so-called mainstream politics and culture.
Just look at what passes for populist right wing politics in the U.S.?  Meanwhile...

...the following video by Mr. K, Dr. Michio Kaku does not fit that category.

After land, sea, air, the internet and space, there is another final frontier, another domain of contention and warfare.  The sixth domain, the human brain and the control of same.   

Blizzard of Lies:
Cognitive dissonance however is hard to avoid.  Proof of claim hard to come by.  
The experts precede me.  As in...

...thousands of bogus fear and doom disinformation videos and websites 
pretending to expose government sponsored mind control that all but stand 
on their heads to tell viewers that all these channels, sites, blogs are made 
either by paid or volunteer Psy-Ops contractors imitating paranoia, delusion 
and "Big Brother" doublethink.  As for the sanity of those behind the above 
channels?  I refer to the Richard Hoffstader quote on the first page in the 
context of disinformation not misinformation. 

That various "mind control", gangstalking fear and doom websites are made by fake PR
salesmen/ play-actors runs counter to Doctor Vaughan Bell and the NY Times link below.
IMO, only a few of these sites originate with the mentally ill.  But how do I know that?
Is it always a good idea for media friendly professionals like Dr. Bell to come to the easy
conclusion that all these videos are to be dismissed as made by and for paranoids and or
those in intractable delusion and nothing more?  Yes it is.  To say otherwise would be
professional suicide and public humiliation.

He would say I'm projecting or seeing what I want to see.  Or that this blog is merely a
lefty meta conspiracy theory of conspiracy theories.  I say I'm using inference and common
sense in seeing these internet bogus sites for what they are and not for what they pretend to be.
But that implies they're all operating in concert.  Which logically puts me in the category
Dr. Bell talks about.  That I'm merely misinformed or just another delusional projecting false
assumptions on others.  This blog is far from just another lefty DSM cliché.  Famous last
words.  Unfortunately they aren't my last words on the subject.

Of course the videos in question promote the very thing they pretend to be against.
IOW, videos and blogs pretending to be fighting mind control are in themselves the purest
form of mind control via repetition and shear numbers of videos, comments, sites, blogs,
forums. Why?  Superficially to degrade the internet which in itself poses a threat to closed
autocratic societies.  Russian troll farms degrade credible news and in the process reverse
the onslaught of pervasive Western culture which tends to put closed societies like Russia
and China in a bad light.  Then again, in the act of waking up from history degrading the
internet and reality itself hardly makes a difference.

These mind control and chemtrail videos and sites aren't the mentally ill imitating each other.
These pretenders are the opposite of mentally ill.  They use the same fear and doom style
as the very sane westerners mentioned in the paragraph below who act in the name of the
American and European fringe radical right wing pretending to be persecuted and claim to be
beyond political or ideological binary constructs of right and left.  Blaming reptilian aliens
or the elite Illuminati comes in handy and allows them the room to make outrageous claims
on the level of The National Enquirer without it reflecting on the right wing worldwide or
Republican establishments in the U.S.  Of course "the Masons", "NWO", and Illuminati
are terms used to protect the cohesiveness of fragile society from the nasty reality hiding
behind categories of mental illness in the DSM which serves to make what I'm claiming
totally beyond belief.

But what I am saying implies the impossible or unpossible.  IOW, superficially this blog
can be seen as cognitively dissonant as the videos and people I criticize.  Are the following
just people who hold different views and opinions of the world from my own?  Am I blind
to and impugning the motivations of others who honestly hold opinions that differ from
my own without providing proof?

Never underestimate the power of political PR even from strident pretend fools like
Donald Trump, Alex "Skull and Bones" Jones and his European counterpart, David Icke.
Who, along with fake and real You Tube internet radio troll farm salesmen delivering
"alternative" right wing "news" "the government doesn't want you to know", are one step
below The Globe.  One step "up" from the Trump friendly David Pecker (great name)
Nat'l Enquirer would be Glenn Beck and The Blaze, WorldNetDaily, Breitbart, Drudge,
talk radio and Fox News.  And of course the National Enquirer and New York Observer
(run by Trump's son-in-law Jarad Kushner) are only two of three papers to endorse the
Republican Trump.  The third paper originates from Las Vegas, a Sheldon Adelson kind
of town.

These are not just opinions that disagree with my own.  This is a political lie machine
more than oil rich enough to pacify and cater to extreme outliers for the purpose of
propping up the mainstream and vice versa.  Pretty soon the outliers through shear
manic fanatic energy become mainstream.  How many of them actually believe their
own nonsense?  How many are in on the joke that is their extreme ideology?

Doesn't matter.  All they have to do is keep repeating and repeating for many people
makes anything true.  Trump never believed his own birther claims and I'm not the
only one who knew that.  Is it such a leap to say that Alex Jones and David Icke are
reasonably sane and don't for a minute believe half of what they're saying despite
the latters self-admitted psychosis.  This, IMO, applies to what passes for the moonbat
American and international right wing.  What passes for their publicly expressed
views isn't even done for the purpose of getting attention.  It is done for its own sake
and for the sake of shamelessness.  The latter is held in such high regard there is even
a TV sitcom with the title of "Shameless" loaded with MAV Cantina tattooed hipsters,
ex-inmates, people in and out of rehab and down-homey smiling friendly biker yahoos
who show up on TV but rarely commented on otherwise as an international phenomena.

Almost exceeding themselves in "blizzard of lies" desperation and disruption.  Going on
about this excessively is surely not such a good idea.  And on I go...

Wednesday, December 9, 2015


Secret and commercialized sound weapon systems go by benign as well as provocative science fiction names like Remote Neural Monitoring and Influence", "Voice of God" and V2k or Voice To Skull used on disinformation sites and videos.  That's not including the more officious military lingo.
("Monitoring" and "influence?  How PR passive aggressive can you get?)

Names and acronyms for commercially supposedly available sound weapons: Magnetic Audio Device, or MAD, and Sound Commander, Hyperspike, Banshee II, Sonic Nausea, Sonic
Devastator, the Inferno Intenso, (Intenso what? I would fire that PR person)

The Shout, the Shriek, the Scream (used by Israel since 2004) induces nausea and dizziness. In combining two low frequencies "knees buckle, the brain aches, the stomach turns...", (oh yes, yes, I'll have what she's having, give me more), the SHOFAR (by the Israeli EORD - "non-lethal" high-power acoustic radiator with 36 acoustic boxes functioning in phase to reach a claimed amplitude of 128 bD at 50 meters), The MOSQUITO by the British company Compound Security Systems (CSS). Under the name of Beethoven you can get "a sound that softens behavior" (said the website slogan before it disappeared).   

Claims on corporate websites are always said to be exaggerated never resulting in working real world technology. They do provide an idea as to possibilities.  Old news and also mostly meaningless for the average person like the supposedly serious book on sound weapons called "Extremely Loud." Serious until checking their bogus Comedy Central type websites. 

This video below is a Democracy Now commentary on G-20 demonstrations in Pittsburg.  From my POV both sides, the police with their big deal military trucks and crowd dispersal equipment as well as political theater from what's left of the left are pretty sad.  Like one feeding off the other.  Almost like Orwell's 1984 where Big Brother creates his own "underground" opposition and proceeded to attack his own creation.

Bob Dylan used to describe "hippies" walking on the roof of his house in Woodstock.
If he was telling the truth at all there were likely no hippies, no fanatics walking on his roof and it probably wasn't a jazz cigarette induced paranoid auditory hallucination either.  It is likely he did hear sounds coming from the direction of his roof.

How about indulging in some conspiracy. Dylan's wife at that time was named Sara.  A contractor in the field of directed sound weaponry is Scientific Applications and Research Association or SARA Inc.  The implications however meaningless are most likely true.  Dylan was likely hearing a base sound mimicking boots walking on his roof among other simulated common sounds.  The crooked music industry?  Government or police harassment using early stage sound technology?  Possibly.  Or something much stupider
and at the same time more real and much more insidious.

Sunday, December 6, 2015


The female reporter in the excellent movie Spotlight briefly interviewes an accused former
priest named Father Panquin.  Panquin calmly admits everything he was accused of.  The
depicted aging priest claims he got no pleasure from multiple molestations.  Before he
was stopped from talking further he matter of factly and mechanically mentions that he
was also raped when young.  And what does that scene and this topic have to do with anything?

Why was this scene specifically included in the movie?  What was being said?  Was it merely
dramatic Hollywood provocation describing an unofficial method of recruitment?  The Church's
molestation syndrome certainly went beyond the availability of stimulant drugs like pot, meth
amphetamines and cocaine.  Beyond suppressed sexuality and dumb occult-like mechanical
methods of recruiting future priests.

The Catholic Church as everyone knows reached unprecedented riches in post emigrant
America.  Enter a self-imposed karmic wheel that included reporters, lawyers and the
institution itself.

The Catholic Church under Pope Francis is still very formidable as it should be.  Pope Francis
has reported that his will be a short rein due to health problems.  The previous Pope, Pope
Benedict, was acting as Pope long before his formal election.  Conservatives are unfortunately
still very much still in control.

I had a talk with a dying priest, Father Philip around 2009.  In response to my then feeble
questions about the Knights of Columbus he said the following regarding real world
methods used by the bagmen of the Catholic Church, the people who make the real
estate deals and magically come up with large sums when needed.  Here was his response
as a veteran priest: "They have their own agenda that is not part of any religion."  Was
this priest talk to pacify me?  Was he medicated or sick?

Some weeks later in one of his last sermons this priest sounded very much in control saying,
"watch out for those who value piety over people."  IOW, watch out for ultra-orthodox
regardless of faith or ideology.  Islamic or Christian.  Pius X, Pastor John Hagee or
Messianic Zionists.

Conservative defenders to the death of the Catholic Church haven't seen their day come
and go with the emergence of Pope Francis.  Just the opposite.  As always they see
themselves as being vindicated and redeemed.  Conservatives in the U.S. now count
themselves as among the persecuted.  Persecuted by whom?  They are persecuted and
offended by everything including the so-called "homosexual agenda" and what is said
to be the resulting workplace discrimination in academia and elsewhere.

In summery, public ridicule has always been seen by the religious as a badge of honor.  
The Church isn't the only one operating in this mode.  In other sections I go into my views 
on institutions and religious celebrities who in my view deliberately invite public ridicule.  
The Church has done the same.  It sees and feeds into geopolitical events that are said to resemble that which occurred before WWI and II. 

Women and minorities both racial and sexual are having their deserved day in and
out of the media.  In my view media outlets like the Huffington Post go beyond
caricature into the void when it comes to reporting on Cait Jenner Room 101 gender
politics.  Clickbait sensationalists won't miss my readership in the slightest.
HuffPo political ravings are only a vague description of the real world or real world
politics.  At the same time they're head and shoulders preferable to their right wing
counterparts in the fear and doom always at war lock and load NRA cliché departments.

In times of mixed gender and abortion cultural upheaval, extremists have taken control
of of the U.S. Congress and at the same time do everything but stand on their heads in
attempts to portray themselves as being among the religious and ideologically oppressed
from all sides not in Syria or Iraq but in this country.  Imagine a President Trump or ANY
Republican POTUS leading a Republican Congressional majority and appointing now
Sen. Ted Cruz to fill the Scalia SCOTUS spot?  Hillary Clinton is the only one who can
upset this impossible to conceive right wing winner-take-all political scenario.  She is also
going to severely disappoint when it comes to negotiating with Republican majorities.
As if writing about it is going to make any difference either way.

Someone like the right wing Bishop Fellay (great name) of Canada probably longs 
for the 1940's and 50's with the world digging out of WWII when people like him 
and the infamous Father Coughlin ran the (radio) show.  He and the Church would
routinely get away with neurosis passing for truth. 

The Bishop probably remembers 1955 like it was yesterday 
longing for a "good old 
fashion" Old Testament devastation in dropping the big one and start over for that 
time honored reborn renewal. 

Fellay, like Mel Gibson, probably invites public ridicule.  Maybe he, like so many 
right wing extremists, longs for a drugged up Air Force Missileer (as recently happened) 
or drunken Russian pressing the red button "doing God's will" upstaging the Iranians 
and giving Islamists and Christian fundamentalists everywhere their final "bombs away" 
Dr. Strangelove moment of eschatological release.  It makes no difference if you actually
believe what you say, just keep repeating repeating and do what you're told.  Do what
you're told.  Do what you're.... Even if you don't have to be told.  It would be funny if
the unpossible turned out true.  That they're all taking on assigned roles and are all
the same post human entity.  Truly terrifying.  Thank goodness that's one thing we, I
don't have to worry about...

Friday, December 4, 2015


No Doubt, the previous entries regarding the depressing Republican
control of Congress and right wing trolls can be temporarily offset by
Gwen Stefani, The Soggy Bottom Boys, George Clooney and the movie,
Oh Brother Where Art Thou?  (Big Brother is all around us in all his guises.)

Summer of 2016 I'm walking past Lincoln Center on my way to see the movie
"Genius" at the Lincoln Plaza.  I pass a political writer on the street I recognize but I'm
very bad with names.  I sit down in the theater to watch the coming attractions.  An
upcoming documentary about autism, "Life Animated", had the name Ron Suskind in
the credits.  His son is the main subject of the film.  Of course it was Suskind I had just
passed on the street.

The movie "Genius" is about Thomas Wolfe and his editor Maxwell Perkins who was also
editor for Hemingway and F. Scott Fitzgerald.  Wolfe's first book, "Look Homeward Angel"
played a large role in the movie.  Previously I had vague notions about Wolfe and his books.
I knew him from the photo I'd seen at the downtown Whitehorse Tavern.  I had no plans to
see the movie but I happened to play this Steve Young (who died this year) video the night before:

Events like that happen all the time and no big deal.  When I played the Look Homeward
Angel video I completely missed the part about "my old friend Thomas from Ashville
North Carolina."

"Genius" was an amazing film about two Americans, Thomas Wolf and Max Perkins
played by two British actors.  All the better because the Brits, with a sense of history
and context really know how to tell a story.  The real Wolfe at 6' 6" was not the sad depressed
writer I associated with the Whitehorse Tavern photo.  Just the opposite.  He was amplified
and larger than life in more ways than one.  Look Homeward Angel was published two days
before the start of Great Depression and stock market crash of 1929.  Just his luck.

They are still referred to as "peripherals" despite being permanently attached to (and in
some sense part of) their host processor..."

Now what does William Gibson's SF novel "The Peripheral" have to do with anything? 
And why was he in the same NYC subway car late 2014 standing over me with 
another guy about his age about a month after I bought but still hadn't read his book?  Coincidences like that happen all the time.  Except with some people they 
happen just a little too often.

He just happened to be wearing the same outfit as his photo on the back of the book.
I kept saying what I find myself saying all too often these days, "Is that what's-his-face?
Nah, can't be...too old.  Except it was his face.  He was doing publicity in NYC at the 

time with recorded YT interviews.

Are the people I describe biological time traveling animatronic humanoids from the 

"future" with uploaded consciousness as in Gibson's story?  His vehicles are 
imagination, metaphor, and allegory.  Mine unfortunately aren't.  

Thursday, December 3, 2015


So who, what, when, where, and most importantly, why?  They used to be valid questions. 

Another question needs to be asked.  Who is this blog addressed to?  Who is likely to 
even pretend to read or believe any of it?  The answer is nada, NO ONE. 

The following is a Wiki entry regarding unwitting volunteer CIA Harvard programs 
of the 1950's.  IOW, a little context regarding what is now called "gang stalking" on 
countless bogus sites and You Tube channels. 
  •   EDIT

    From the fall of 1959 through the spring of 1962, (Dr.) Murray was responsible 
    for the ethically questionable, CIA-sponsored MK ULTRA experiments in which twenty-two undergraduates were used as research subjects.[3][4] Among other purposes, Murray's experiments focused on measuring people's reactions under extreme stress. 
  • Unwitting undergraduates submitted to what Murray himself called "vehement, sweeping and personally abusive" attacks. Assaults to their egos, cherished ideas and beliefs were the vehicle used to cause high levels of stress and distress. Among them was 16-year-old Ted Kaczynski, who went on to become the Unabomber, a serial killer targeting academics and technologists. [5] Alston Chase's book Harvard and the Unabomber: The Education of an American Terrorist connects Kaczynski's abusive experiences under Murray to his later criminal career. Theodore John Kaczynski, was given the code name "Lawful".

The above was a CIA program, a footnote that might have been expanded beyond the
laboratory into campus life in the case of one, Ted Kaczynski with his 170 IQ.  Even if that
wasn't the case the above wording perfectly describes something that predates the CIA.  It
describes a systematic psychological waterboarding assault on the senses.  But not just by
the CIA.  Imagine the FSB version?  But hey, things have changed with Putin.  Only
journalists and opposition candidates are killed.  Not like under Stalin where anyone
rumored to be subversive was killed with plenty of gulag free labor (political dissidents,
law breakers, the unlucky, homosexuals, gypsies, Jews, Czarists, the insane, drug addicts,
orphans etc).

IOW, the above serves as an approximation of something that is not now and never was
confined to very intelligent but susceptible Harvard crash-test dummy undergraduate
guinnea pigs.  In the version I describe no human could be anything but susceptible
when subject to what is beyond my means of description.

IOW, this is an approximation that only mimics delusion and madness.  I will 
attempt to provide the only "proof" that I am aware of which can barely be 
considered circumstantial.  When context is provided it might be slightly more than 
circumstantial.  It might provoke the question, "what the hell is going on here?"  
If there's anyone left with enough curiosity to even ask.  

Wednesday, December 2, 2015


Stranger than fiction events comparable to scenes from the 1990
movie "Jacob's Ladder" minus combat related PTSD or the Hollywood
elements of demons, drugs, flashbacks, exploding cars and the contrived
cop-out "it was all a drug induced dream before death" depressing ending.
The lead character Jacob Singer (Tim Robbins) is a Jewish Army combat soldier in
Vietnam.  He is bayoneted in the stomach by one of his own men who were depicted
as being unwitting lab rats in a CIA drug experiment using something like BZ, an
hallucinatory aggression amplifying drug.  Jacob is found in the jungle with his
intestines outside his body.  Singer is still alive and taken by helicopter to a basecamp hospital.

The movie then picks up on what is supposed to be his post war civilian life.
In my view, all the scenes in this movie, all the flashbacks, everything hallucinatory
are depicted for a reason and meant to stand on their own loosely depicting iconic
metaphysical events that are timeless.

In 1985 I had "successful" sternum to pelvic bone resection surgery.  The operation was
five years before the movie.  I was in my late thirties.  Nothing iconic or metaphysical
about it but there is something going on regarding wounds or surgery in that particular area.

Unlike the movie I latter experienced a 6 to 9 month marathon of total sleep deprivation
without stimulant prescription or street drugs while in my 60's.  Considered impossible and
as close as anyone wants to get to a living death.

At one point the movie shows a civilian Jacob Singer at a crowded NYC apartment party
mixing with friends of his then Hispanic girlfriend. He is awkward and has nothing in
common with them.  As shown in the trailer, he has his palm read during the party.
Singer, shown with a wine bottle in his hand experiences confusion and war flashbacks
developing into a 106 fever.  His wife, played by the late Elizabeth Peña, gets him into
an ice bath to lower his body temperature.  He yells out that he's dying.  The shock sends
him into delirium.  He blacks out and imagines himself with his Jewish ex-wife.
He tells his ex the bedroom they are in feels like 10 degrees mirroring the ice bath.

Here's how that translates:
In the 1970's I am invited to Brooklyn to "sleep" with a partly Jewish female I'd
been seeing who was always said to be "married."  Her open marital arrangement was
more than slightly unconventional.  My guess now would be she would get pregnant by
a male loosely defined as a "husband" and would then sleep with me in between pregnancies.
Her looks were the very opposite of the Pena movie character.

The Brooklyn apartment is normal at first and then in the middle of the AM feels to be
at least 10 degrees below.  She says the heat is turned off at night.  It is unnaturally cold.
When I try to touch her to warm up she is too hot to get close to.  She is burning up but
notices nothing wrong.  She is too young for hot flashes.  Her body heat was beyond
anything sexual or natural.  But considering what we just did it did serve a purpose.

Awake all night in the sub-freezing cold room I go to work the next morning and
of course see her "husband" coming from his night job.  We turn around at the same
time as we pass.  He probably knows what's going on but it is all made to seem like high
intrigue.  Like a movie.  The invitation, the room temperate, her temperature and the
morning meeting was a contrived stupid arrangement designed to provoke guilt and
confusion about myself and the the woman I thought I knew.  I was the only one not in on the joke.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015


There are scenes in the movie of insidious crazed doctors with typically big needles.
Replaced in reality by "nice guy" smiling student dentists applying unneeded painful
injections into the chin cavity inside my lower gums.  Smiling Asian "student" dentist
knew I would yell out in a crowded clinic which I haven't done at the hands of dentists
since the sixth grade when I got minor cavities filled without painkiller.  Smiling Asian
student dentist denies everything.  Everyone stays in character except me.  I complain
and am switched to a female Asian dentist.  Her first words to me?  "Will you cooperate?"

What I try and fail to describe above and below is all too similar to the shocks
depicted in post war civilian parts of the movie except that the reality is less dramatic.

Unlike Singer, I never got off at abandoned Bergen Street subway stations in Brooklyn.
Yet.  The people seen by Jacob in compressed scenes on subways are comparable to what I
see in encounters more numerous except that none include seeing homeless guys with tails
left out of some versions of the movie.

I did witness a fake subway fight with real people bouncing off seats inside a moving subway.
I was not involved but I could see the contrived desperation of it unfolding in front of me.
That's an example of odd events I see every time I use the subways of NYC.  Imagination,
mood, paranoia or drugs play no part.  But...

...Jacob experiences one visual shock after another.  This extends to the physical as he
is abducted by three men in a moving auto that he escapes only to have his wallet and ID
picked after he hits the ground by a guy in a Santa Klaus suit and beard waving his
bell for donations.  When asked what happened to his ID at a hospital ER he admits
that "Santa Klaus took it" confirming the movie doctors idea of someone insane.  When
wheeled on a gurney through hospital winding corridors the audience and Jacob sees
someone resembling his ex-wife curled up on the hospital floor.  See's his chiropractor
vaguely behind a glazed window.  His girlfriend Jessie is one of the nurses.  This is seen
to be the result of a concussion received in the speeding car but, as mentioned previously,
also representing something else.  Similar disjointed events not so dramatic happen routinely
in my real life version.  The fact that none of it answers to logic soon becomes beside the point.
Ex-girlfriends that I knew for years are seen inches away in public who gaze past me.
Common enough.  In the 1970's an East Indian male is seen climbing my fire escape at 4:30 AM
dressed only in a sackcloth.  The same person shows up years later in contexts so different
I could never conceive of connecting the two events.

An event analogous to the fictional Jacob Singer car scene happened to me in April of 2014.
I am pined to the floor of a Soho bar around 4PM after being asked to leave for no apparent
reason.  I offered but wasn't given the chance to pay my bill.  There was no previous trouble,
no inebriation in a near empty bar.  A knee to the back of my leg sends me to the ground
with a guy for each leg and one with his knee to my chest while holding down my arms.
He knows his knee is stopping me from breathing and talking normally.  While down I
manage to call him a moron.  I am cuffed, ID is taken and returned.  No name tag, no police
ID is shown, I am uncuffed.  An ambulance arrives and drives me to to Presbyterian Hospital
ER across town.  The only people I see are uncomprehending blank-faced security.  I sit down,
I walk out after 30 seconds.  No blow to the head, no Santa Klaus characters, no missing ID.

No medical procedures, no blood pressure taken but the Presbyterian Hospital ambulance
bills my insurance for over a thousand dollars.  Routine fraud is the least of it.  I consider
challenging the claim.  I go back to the bar and a different bartender.  And who is going
to believe this story even with witnesses.  Nada, no one.  The guy compressing my chest
with his knee shows up the next day in circumstances so completely different as to be almost
comparable to Jacob watching helplessly while Santa Klaus picks his pocket.  There are other
implications associated with the movie version that I don't even want to touch.

Sunday, November 29, 2015


Opening shot is not "Twilight" English actor Robert Pattinson
looking at his vampire mother:

The blonde female driver at the end has to be Billie Whitelaw who I saw
at The Old Vic in Beckett's "Happy Days" in 1970's London.  (Long before
Happy Days of American TV).  The stunning Ms. Whitelaw died in 2014.
A close simulacra to a 2002 former girlfriend of mine?  Or just my imagination?

Back To Reality Unfortunately:
On my last day at work in 2005 a 6' 4" black on the fat side co-
worker made a point of always preaching and telling me what I
would find among so-called "daytime people."  Slackers, stoners,
hipsters, unemployed, students, or, like me, retired.  Slackers,
hipsters and stoners aren't adequate terms for what I found.  I
looked at the world and the world looked back.  (Ack, ack, ack)

It's as if I had the extreme audacity to retire after working seventy hour weeks at two
jobs for twenty years with nothing but time and age to show for it.  I went from
70 hour work weeks to zero.

My attempt in describing completely unnerving, "peripheral" human++ types sounds
straight out of a horror movie or something from a demented central casting call for Marvel
unitards.  I would say straight out of Comedy Central because that is exactly what this sounds
like.  Except the above two plus marks after the word human are completely applicable but
I'm not sure what they equal.

Everything described in this blog does and doesn't originate in any particular time or country.
Manifesting in the 1960's - 1980's in the following ways: I had no idea at the time but
"new age" groups like Macrobiotics, Bioenergetics, Sri Chinmoy, Bubba Free John, Integral Yoga
and many other so-called alternative eastern and western groups were completely serious as far as their stated intentions and completely rigged.

By who?  Not the FBI who were probably there reporting to J. Edgar and his successor on
what might have been considered to be potential subversive foreign infiltration.
The groups themselves didn't care and probably got a bunch of laughs over who the
designated G-Man was.

These alt groups had excellent PR depending on the image they wanted projected.
From Franklin "Adi Da" Jones' "miracles" and bad-boy reported orgies which were likely
faked or contrived for the sake of rumor.  Or relatively conservative East-Indian mediation
teachers seemingly following unwritten scripts of prescribing celebracy until, one after the
other, getting "caught" seducing female followers.  One was described as preforming
mechanically, in/ out laughably animatronic seemingly getting nothing out of it.  IOW,
asexual, as if doing a job.  Were these deliberately self-provoked falls from "enlightened grace"
an offset to being objects of worship and fame?  Deliberately arranged and welcomed
fake PR both positive and negative?  Of course they were.

IMO, many people, western religious leader, Marcial Maciel Dellogado, famous politicians,
actor Mel Gibson manufactured deliberate public humiliation under the guise of sex, mental
illness, substance abuse or all three.  Right after he, Gibson, makes a billion dollars depicting the
Crucifixion of Christ a series of incidents are blamed on alcohol, "the Joos" or a bipolar condition.
Was he actually DWI?  Yes.  Involved with porn actresses?  Most likely yes.  All real and all
faked and it doesn't really matter in his case.  Public disgrace is considered a badge of honor
and something to actually strive for in some religious quarters.  Like his for instance.  Like
the Catholic Church for instance.  He just happens to be fundamentalist Catholic.  Which
goes back to my impressions of the movie "Spotlight" depicting the older defrocked priest.
He was a willing human drone doing a job and getting nothing out of it.  For what real purpose?

Saturday, November 28, 2015





More extremely tall people of both sexes than I or anyone does not usually qualify for mention.
I'm six foot and not considered short or tall.  In the middle as usual.  Each generation gets taller
but what I see is over and above.

I briefly spoke to a woman at the Chelsea Market in NYC who looked to be in her 70's, easily
over 6' 4" who looked to be related to another woman of average height I worked with and
went with after 911.  The older version who denied she had a daughter, was the only one I can
remember in that age group of that height which means, of course, it happens and who cares?
Except that...

...extreme height is but one example of what happens when extremes of every kind 
are made to become routine across age groups, genders, races,  nations, geography, weather.

And it will be said, "well, of course, tall people stand out and are noticed and so what?"

I spoke about all the extremely tall women to my sister in late 2015.  First day of her
arrival in NYC we met in an Irish bar that used to be close to 34th Street on 8th Ave.
A tall Mav's Cantina transvestite drew fake whistles from the crowded bar.  On her last
day in town a woman entered the restaurant where we were eating who might have been
one of the women in the above video.  My sister's jaw dropped or pretended to in
amazement at the sight of a 6' 11" female in a three piece pants suit and tie.

*Many of those I am trying to describe seem to eat little, sleep little and have no particular
interest in sex apart from procreation unless called upon to take on an outrageous outdated
compulsive 1980's holes in the jeans distressed punkish, hipster, sexually suggestive or
ambiguous appearance.  One extreme to another.  Contrived appearances, contrived
outrageousness, contrived gender ambiguity.  Gangs talking and putting on a show.

*Whether street people with over-amped musculature, so-called hipster
types covered with tattoos, looking completely wrong or perfectly uniformed
down to off center or backwards rally caps.  Long contractor beards and
man-buns growing in opposite directions seemingly straight out of the
movie Benghazi, or one-sided shaved skinhead soggy bottomed prison chic street style.

IOW, drones of all ages doing everything but standing on their heads to mimic
what everyone associates with coming of age rebellion and disruption.  In the
building next door to mine is an "August Rush" group home complete with
skateboarders with dyed black hair standing in a straight up permanent with
yellow dye or spray on the ends (imagine aluminum foil) like Christmas lights
who might be 25, 45 or 55 years old.  August Rush was probably the only bad
movie Robin Williams ever made.  The movie continues in real life with
skateboarding at all hours with different bleeding colors on their potted plant heads
always ready to act against type with big smiles to compensate for their computer
game Illuminutty looks.

*Conversly, obsessive cleanliness might also be a common factor.  With little sleep
the immune system might suffer otherwise.

*A contrived overly polite manner is used to counter any gross weirdness
in appearance such as bleached white hair on both sexes or black dyed and yellow
tipped hair or dyed blond beards on brown skinned males.  How many guys are
going to want to maintain dyed hair past their teens?  Well these are artists making a statement...

*Behavoral opposites: Blindside bumping or grappling one minute
like something from "Fight Club."  Holding doors and smiling excessively
like Jim Carrey from "The Truman Show" waving in faux friendliness,
"have a good day, and if I don't see ya, have a good afternoon, evening and night too"
(Ah hah, you knew it, a simple case of "Truman Show Delusion Syndrome" a media
driven paranoid variation of "Jumping Horsemen of the Maine Syndrome.")

Passive aggressiveness on parade, in extremis and nobody notices.  No one left
to notice.  I saw the actor Benjamin Cumberbatch with his hair completely grey
walking his dog on 23rd Street where I live.  No one else noticed or even pretended
not to notice which sounds too much like someone playing the part of Truman Burbank
in The Truman Show's Seahaven by the Hudson via Chelsea, NYC.

* 2011 - 2015, too many caucasian women speaking in overly polite exaggerated pretty
please Valley Girl "up-talk" in NYC while fishing in their pocketbooks for their wallets
to count out exact change along with clipped tones of "yeah yeh".

* For a couple of years guys took on a deliberately fake vocal fry, mission control
exaggerated macho laughable speech pattern.  How can that be possible?  It's not.
It's the opposite of possible.

How about the opposite extreme, gay effeminacy over and above any Google IT, gay
or nerd stereotype.  A rehearsed nonstop standup comedy act seen for a few months
and then replaced by something else going from dumb to dumber.  Improvisational
Schreber-like humanoid drones?  All the same person with different faces?  Of course
not.  Golly, is everybody in on the conspiracy?  Or simulation?

*Women that I went with in the early 2000's (mentioned earlier) once made a point
of licking pasta sauce off a plate in a restaurant.  Another would put a bare hand into a
restaurant buffet.  Or wearing big cleverge in twenty degree weather.  The opposite in
80+ degree weather.  Completely covered minus burka.

Contrived public sex when a nearby house or apartment was available.  I was always
the one to say, "hey look, is that guy staring?"  The unlikely and overly casual answer from
the girl, "who cares."  (Test of character?  Delay gratification and walk away?  Of course)

IOW, these relationships were a mix of normal behavior with rare contrived disruptive
lunatic moonbat behavior.  The unstated multiple messages from these women:
"I am beyond disruptive, crazy, average or normal".  "Sex?  Take it or leave it.  Who cares."
"Once I start something don't try to stop me.  AND you will have to stop me."
"Don't get attached.  I will make sure that you do."  "When convenient I might deny my name,
what year or is or knowing who you are."

They weren't working for any deep dark government agency, no getting paid in bitcoins
or any other physical currency.  None of the above was the result of anger, mood change,
hot flashes, menopause, eccentricity, a joke, self hate, psychopathy, deficits of intelligence
or my imagination.  None of the DSM or psych-boilerplate cliches apply.  Trying to get rid
of me?  Of course.  They were deliberately toxic.

*A kind of routine hyperactivity (Hyper++) .  As a guess, not being in constant motion
and constantly busy invites some kind of automatic direct or indirect negative feedback.
Something like in the Disney movie "Tomorrowland" where too many nuanced questions
resulted in a pretend "machine shutdown" to stop the line of questioning.
* Big on non-traditional careers, music, art, entertainment, acting, meditation.
* Big on lying and deceit.  The more you engage them the more they lie.
* Fluency in fighting and martial arts.  Each female makes a point of picking a physical fight.
* Acting, improvisation, PR, propaganda, a speaking in gibberish tongues mixed with actual
language for hours without stopping.  Overheard very loud conversations are either in a foreign tongue or as if a language module is activated in fast forward as seen in the Tomorrowland movie.
* A synchronized smart mobbing plays out before your disbelieving eyes.
* Very big on "Dias De Los Muertos" skull tattoos and imagery on shirts and hats.
* They make their own or buy cheap wild, flamboyant or nondescript clothes.
* Women make a point to greet each other in OMG!, OH! MY! God!!  Exaggerated greetings
more often than would be considered too often.  Gay and straight couples do their porno
Public sex routines past the point of parody.

Reasonable people might see this as typical of certain unbalanced people.  If reasonable
means reading from a teleprompter from behind their lying eyes.

* On occasion a depressing Maxwell Smart "cone of silence" zero point "dead air" effect is felt.
Like air sucked out of the inner ear during a medical exam.  With certain females the opposite occurred.  A sharp zero point focus.

* Spastic penguin walk, addicted street people (Scarecrow) dreadlocked, tattooed, homeless,
begging, K-2 users stretched out on 23rd Street.  Or going to the opposite extreme, dumb
James Dean male hustler poses like end scenes from "The Warriors" but without the fog.

* Grossly over developed over-amped military types (Tin Men) with arms and chests so
large (like turkeys) they have to move or pretend to move with arms swinging in front
instead of at their sides.  All a pose.  A put-on.  By he same entity different face.

* As of mid-year 2016 there's a more conservative look going on.  Cut and buff even with
women looking like lifters.  If and when it stops it'll all seem like a bad dream.  Or events will
just change in their variety.  Under no circumstances can I be allowed to experience the world normally especially when committing the sin of freeloading, eating out and not working after retirement.  THAT must never stand.  (Well gee, get a job, volunteer or sign over your pension
to charity, join the Mormon's or become a volunteer homeless homosexual drug addict trusting
in the Lord and taking that leap into the void bla bla blah)

Which means now until I die I will have only abnormal encounters to be replaced eventually
by something equally monotonous and monstrous.  Repulsive not in kind but in frequency.
Visual psychological waterboarding both in variety and monotony.  Quite a metaphysical
piece of choreography by the dance master.

Nothing that I see is as it should be but, at the same time, nothing looks
flagrantly out of sync to non-existent observers.  All can be seen as classic ______
(fill in the symptomatic blanks) or just crotchety dementia, Alzheimer's, evident lack of insight...
DSM language of convenience sounding more comical than what is being described.
(Well of course if it's all subconscious it will sound irrational and silly etc.)

I don't have any particular need for complete normalcy or want people to look like me,
like Truman Burbank or like my overachieving opposite, Donald Trump (Lying King) formerly
of the Illuminutty spray-on saffron hair and cheeks.  His ex-lawyer and mentor, Roy Cohn
would be proud of his Donny running for President.  He might stand on his short tip toes
for a kiss on top of his bald head from the man, "The Don."

President Don and Melania as FLOTUS?  Until the divorce.  Don and Melania in handcuffs
and in tears?  Or TBTF Don with his Russian's and Deutsche Bank getting bailed out in
bankruptcy courts and gangster threats after the next economic crisis.  Again!

If elected President he will be consigned to playing golf and forced to do some once a month
signing of bills and out the Casa Blanca backdoor to raise money for fellow Republicans.
IOW, like Bush 43, he will do as he is told and play the part of intern while the "Deep State"
Republican dominated military industrial congressional complex runs the world.